


Worried

by reigningqueenofwords



Series: Kirk's Omega [17]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22160215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords
Relationships: Alpha!Kirk x Omega!Reader
Series: Kirk's Omega [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1514180
Kudos: 12





	Worried

Kirk seemed to be deep in thought more often now, and you had figured that it had to do with the upcoming mission. Often you had to snap him out of it, which was getting old. You understood that he had a lot of work to do, but he’d never been this into work before. 

It had been going on for about two weeks when he would start vanishing as well, but not telling you where he had been. The Omega in you grew concerned and self conscious, something that was already familiar because of Bella. You kept telling yourself it was all business but Leonard’s words from long ago began to haunt you. 

Lying in bed one night, you let out a soft sigh, trying to stay awake until whenever he came back, but you were losing that battle. The last time you saw the time, it was after midnight. “So much for not being able to keep your hands off me…” You mumbled, wiping your eyes. 

Kirk came in just before one, shutting the door quietly and smiled at your sleeping form. He quickly shimmied out of his clothes and joined you under the covers. Kirk kissed your shoulder gently and wrapped his arm around you. His hand always rested on your middle now, always falling asleep with a content smile on his face. 

Waking up, you looked down to see his hand and teared up. He was so excited to be a father, but couldn't be bothered to come to bed? Vanishing randomly? Spacing out all the time? Something wasn’t adding up, and you damn near at your breaking point. You carefully removed his arm from you and got up for the day. 

Kirk woke up alone, which confused him. He felt your pillow, and it was barely warm. “Babe?” He called out, getting met with silence. Furrowing his brows, he got up and quickly dressed, deciding to go look for you.

You were sitting with your brother and Bella at an early breakfast, giggling along with them. “Oh, morning, Jim.” Leonard greeted him. 

“Morning, Captain.” Bella gave him a small smile.

You gave him a tight smile. “Kirk.”

He frowned. “Morning, sweetheart.” He sat next to you. “Reason you were up early?” 

“I woke up.” You shrugged. “I was hungry, so I came to get breakfast. Reason you were out late?” You countered.

He stammered, sighing when you put up your hand. “It was just business babe.” 

You scoffed and got up, shaking your head. “Whatever. Have fun with your ‘business’ when you disappear today.”

Kirk felt incredibly bad, but knew you’d understand when you found out the reason for his disappearances. When he didn't say anything, you teared up and stormed off, leaving him to be stared at by Leonard and Bella.

“Disappearances?” Bones narrowed his eyes. Bella also looked unimpressed. 

Kirk groaned. “If I tell you two, you CANNOT tell Y/N!” 

“If it concerns her getting her heart broken...” Bones went full big brother mode. 

“I’m going to ask her to marry me. I’ve been trying to get ideas how, and trying to find the perfect ring. Uhura’s been trying to help, actually.” 

Bella immediately melted. “Awe Captain!” 

Leonard was shocked, that was clear. “You plan on proposing?” He was just making sure he wasn’t hearing things.

Kirk nodded with a smile on his face. “Especially with the baby on the way.” 

“You know...she doesn’t care if you’re married or not because of the baby.” Leonard warned. “I don’t want her thinking you’re proposing  _ because _ she’s pregnant.”

“That’s why I’m making sure the ring is so special.” He nodded. 

“I hope you find it soon.” Leonard sighed. “We all know what she's thinking.”

Kirk blinked. “She doesn’t think I’m seeing someone right?” 

Bella sighed. “You're getting back to your quarters later, disappearing randomly during the day, and say it's ‘business’. What would you think?” 

Kirk rubbed his face. “I gotta find that ring. Quick.” 

Leonard nodded. “I can't imagine what she's going to be like if this goes on much longer.”

Kirk nodded back and rushed out of the lunch room. 

* * *

When you had left breakfast, you went to your station, wanting to get lost in your work.

When Kirk got on the Bridge later, he asked for Uhura, making your eyebrows raise. You glanced over, your heart aching as they whispered to one another. Kirk was grinning wide and Uhura was smiling, making you sigh. 

Your stomach sank, and you turned to go back to work. So much for her being your friend. Your mind went back to when Kirk had hit on Uhura first, and you felt sick. Getting up quickly, your hand covered your mouth and you rushed off the bridge. Here you were, pregnant, and he was already moving on. You rushed to the nearest hall bathroom and dumped your breakfast, feeling your cheeks grow wet. You couldn't even escape this, either. This was your job, and you were in space. You shakily washed your face before slowly making your way back to the Bridge. 

Kirk didn't miss how you wouldn't even look at him, making him ache to hold you. Uhura has informed him that the next planet they stopped on would have the perfect ring, so he had to wait it out. 

When Uhura smiled at you, you gave her a curt nod in return. You spoke to no one, and just focused on your work, rushing out of your seat the second shift was over. You went to your quarters you shared with Kirk, but only to get her your things.

Kirk was held up on the Bridge for a moment, running things with Mr. Sulu. He rushed over to find you as soon as he could. He reached your quarters as you were walking out. “Sweetheart?” You didn’t say anything, just held what you were holding closer to you as you walked down the hall. You sniffed and blinked away your tears. “Babe where are you going?” He stepped in front of you. 

“My old quarters.” You told him sadly. “I can tell I'm not wanted anymore.”

He cupped your face with both hands. “Who told you that? Of course you’re wanted!” 

You shook your head. “No one has to tell me!” You spat, pulling away. “You don't come back to the room until I'm asleep, you vanish randomly throughout the day, you whisper things to Uhura while you're both all grins….”

Kirk sagged. “Sweetheart, I promise you will all my heart nothing of sorts is going on.” He reached for you. “Please.” 

“Yeah, it's ‘business’.” You sniffed. “You're keeping things from me and being sneaky.”

“It is business.” He pleaded. “I promise by the end of the next mission everything will be fine.” 

Your eyes locked with his. “Then why are you acting so weird?”

He winced. “I can’t tell you.” 

Your shoulders slumped at that. “Of course you can’t.”

“It’s classified, sweetheart.” He groaned. “And nothing is going on between me and Uhura. Even ask Spock.” 

“Something is going on, I can feel it.” You told him. “Something's changed with you.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Please sleep here at home tonight.” 

You sighed and nodded, too tired to argue. You didn’t recuperate the hug as he brought you into his arms, you just let him and shrugged him off gently. Kirk was aching, hoping that in him trying to plan this, he didn’t push you away. What if you said no? You trudged back to the quarters, putting back your stuff quietly. Flopping back on the bed, you stared at the ceiling.

Kirk wrung his hands together. “Do you want to join me in the shower?” 

“No, thanks.” You told him simply.

He looked down. “What about dinner?” 

You shrugged. “I guess I’ll go get something soon.” You answered.

He felt like crying. Here he was trying to find the perfect thing to propose with and you despised him. He let out a soft sigh and went to shower, hoping it would help something. You heard him leave and closed your eyes, letting out a sigh. Maybe you’d go see Leonard.

After a few more minutes of sulking, you nodded, deciding that you should go see him. Even his presence might help. Anything to keep you from overthinking things. Leonard had just gotten back from MedBay, shuffling out of his uniform when you knocked. He changed quickly before answering it, knowing quickly what it was about when he saw you standing there. “Hey.” You breathed.

He let you in, a neutral expression on his face. “What’s up?”

“I don't know what's going on with him.” You sigh, sitting down. “Or us…”

“He’s been really stressed out about the next mission.” He offered. 

You groaned. “But he's acting so secretive, and weird.” You told him. “Coming to bed well after midnight? Vanishing during the day?"

“He’s been in the labs with Uhura and Spock.” Leonard sighed. Hearing your brother back him up was weird. Something in your gut told you something was off, but it seemed you were just paranoid. “Look, I know hearing it from me that Jim is being a good guy is strange, but we’re all stressing about the next mission.” He sighed. 

“Then why do I feel like crap? Why does everything in me say something is up?” You asked, more to yourself than anything. 

“Worried Omega? I don’t blame you’re worrying, Jim is Jim. I probably know that more than anyone.” He sat besides you. “If it makes you feel better, you can spend time here.” 

You leaned your head on his shoulder. “Thanks, Leonard.” You snuggled to him as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, just needing some comfort. “Am I just being a hormonal Omega?”

“You might.” He admitted, chuckling. “You’re not used to feeling like this, so it’s understandable.” 

“I hate this.” You muttered.

“You wanted a baby.” He reminded you, kissing your head. 

“Doesn’t mean I have to like being a hormonal mess already!” You poked his side.

“Mm, I warned you.” He chuckled, then shrugged. “I know what it’s like to worry you know? Jocelyn messed around another Alpha and I was too trustworthy.” You bristled at that, worried that you were having something similar happen to you. Leonard just held you, putting on a movie at some point. You drifted off halfway through the movie, while Leonard hoped that this passed quickly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, wondering if Jim could be less secretive about it. 

He made a note to talk to him as soon as he could. The last thing Leonard wanted was for you to feel like you were losing your mate.

Kirk searched the halls when he didn’t you back in the room when he got out of the shower, his heart hurt that you were hurt, and he wasn’t sure what to do anymore. He wanted to give you the best proposal possible, with the perfect ring. And was working hard to do just that. Was he doing it wrong? He sulked when you weren’t in your old quarters and went to Spock’s labs to check, checking each one. Every time he came up empty, he became more and more panicked. 

He thought hard as to where you might be and finally thought of Bones, rushing down to his quarters. Knocking on his door, he was crossing his fingers. If you weren’t here, he had no idea where else to look

Leonard made sure to rest you gently on the couch before going to open the door to see a worried Jim. “She’s sleeping.” He assured. “I tried to sway her fears, but I don’t know how well I did, honestly.” He shrugged.

Kirk sighed in relief that you were safe, but stayed sad. “I didn’t think she’d take this so hard. What if she doesn’t even say yes at this point?”

“I think she will. She’s blaming hormones. She hates them.” He chuckled lightly, glancing to you. “Honestly, I think she’ll be relieved at that point.”

“Just five more days.” Kirk sighed, rubbing his face. “Can I carry her back?” 

Leonard moved to the side. “Sure.” He nodded.

He nodded gratefully before coming in and hooked his arms under you to carry you. “Thanks, Bones. I owe you one.” He said softly as you snuggled into him.

“She’s worried.” He warned. “But you’re welcome.” 

Kirk sighed, glancing down at you. He kissed your forehead lightly before carrying you back to your shared quarters. Once he tucked you in, he sat on his side of the bed, hanging his head. 

Was he going to have to ask you early to save the relationship? After a glance at you, he decided to simply telling you that he was trying to plan something romantic with Uhura’s help. He nodded to himself as he made the plan then snuggled close to you, holding you tight. 

His thumb rubbed the skin of your stomach gently. “I love you both.” He breathed, leaning into you. He felt it in his body that you were hurting and he hoped by morning it would be gone. 

* * *

Blinking, you groaned when you realized that you were back in your room. You rubbed your eyes as you woke up more, turning to face Kirk only to find he was already staring at you. “Morning, beautiful.” He smiled softly.

“Hey.” You breathed out. “I guess you brought me here?” 

He nodded. “Yeah, looked everywhere before I found you.”

You matched his nod, and rolled onto your back, staying quiet. “Okay.” You finally sighed. 

“I have something to tell you…” 

he begun. Kirk watched you close your eyes as you inhaled sharply, likely preparing for the worst. “I’m planning something romantic and I didn’t want to mess up so I asked Uhura for help.” He spoke as quickly as he could. “It was supposed to be a surprise.” 

Snapping your eyes open, you looked over at him. “What?!”

He looked sheepish. “I promise.” He sighed. “I really wanted to make it special, but I had to wait until after the mission.” 

You licked your lips, nodding slightly. His words went over and over in your head, causing you to blush. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay as long as you believe me.” He rested on your chest. 

“I do…” You started. “But I'm still feeling scared.”

“Why?” He pouted. 

You sighed. “Because you can find someone better. Because as Leonard pointed out, he was too trusting and look what happened to him.” You shrugged. 

“Do you think that little of me?” He sighed. 

“No!” You teared up, suddenly feeling like the bad guy for being honest with him. “It’s completely possible to be scared while not thinking less of you.”

He frowned. “I don’t get scared that you’re gonna leave me for another Alpha.” 

You covered your eyes with your arm. “Great, now I’m the one hurting you.” You sniffed. 

He didn’t want to fight so he just took a deep breath. “What can I do to make you not scared?” 

“I’m trying not to be, I’m sorry.” You replied. “I’m feeling more insecure than I’m used to. So sue me.”

He bit his lip and nodded, backing off to not upset you more. Kirk leaned over and kissed your cheek softly, not sure what to say. “I’m gonna get ready.” He whispered, shuffling as he went to get his uniform. He hoped by proposing he’d show that he was serious about the two of you. 

Hearing him, your heart broke further. “Okay.” You nodded, rolling to your side and staring at the wall. 

Once he was finished he sat at the edge of the bed, waiting for you to go on the Bridge together. 

When you realized that he wasn’t leaving, you sat up and wiped your cheeks, wondering when things when so sideways. “You can go without me you know.” You sniffled. 

Kirk moved to crouch in front of you. “I don't want to.” His blue eyes locked with yours. “I want you by my side.”

You sniffled again. “Are you sure?” Your lip quivered. 

He gave you a small smile. “More than sure.” You crouched down and fell into his arms, feeling yourself cry. Kirk held you close, rubbing your back gently before he pulled you up to sit on the bed. “Things will work out, Omega.” He said gently.

You nodded, hoping he was right. “Thanks, Alpha.”

“Let’s get you ready okay?” He kissed your nose before getting up and going to get a clean uniform for you. 

“Kirk?” You said gently, looking over at him. “I love you.” You just really felt the need to remind him of that after the past few days.

He looked relieved and nodded. “I love you, too, sweetheart.” 

Giving him a small smile, you got up and slipped out of the clothes you had slept in.He watched you lovingly and handed you your uniform before cupping your chin, giving you a deep kiss. You kissed him back, whimpering lightly. “I missed you.” 

“I missed you more.” He spoke gently but with a deep voice. He gently ran his fingers up your spine. 

You gripped the sides of his shirt, holding him close. “Come to bed with me tonight? Don’t stay out?” You asked, looking in his eyes.

He nodded. “Of course.” His eyes grew dark. 

Pecking his lip, you pulled away to get dressed, feeling more hopeful. You felt him watching you and smirked just slightly as you were more seductive with your movements. “Ready?” You asked him, pulling your hair up.

“Willing to be a little late?” He growled. Without answering him, you moved to stand in front of him and pulled him into a deep kiss by the back of his neck. He moaned deep in his throat and sat down on the bed, pulling you to straddle him. You tangled your fingers in his hair, feeling like it had been ages since you’d been together. “Gonna ride me, Omega?” He grunted. 

You bit your lip and nodded. “Yes, Alpha.” You breathed, rolling your hips. You began kicking off your bottoms as he shoved down his just enough. 

* * *

When you finally reached the Bridge, you were content, and feeling more in love. There were a couple fresh marks on each of your necks, making you blush when you looked at him.

He winked and bit his lip while he checked you out, going back to his chair. While deep down, a part of you was still a tiny bit scared, you told that part to shut up and back off. You were less rude to Uhura, but still cautious about her. Maybe it was something you’d always be worried about. Which made you feel bad, as she had always been a friend.

Kirk was focused on the upcoming mission for a variety of reasons and grew anxious as they approached the planet. “Uhura, Scotty and I will be traveling down.” He announced to the Bridge. 

You felt yourself tense at that, but didn’t say a word. You glanced at Uhura. “What shall I do from up here?” 

“Listen for transmissions, basically do what I would do.” She told you. “Captain, when shall we teleport?” Her gaze went to Kirk.

“Twenty minutes Lieutenant.” Kirk responded. 

Controlling your breathing, you kept your eyes on your own work. You got everything ready for the mission and watched as Uhura got off the Bridge first. Kirk came over and kissed your temple before joining her.

You clenched your fists and went to the front of the Bridge. “Mr. Sulu, how long is the mission supposed to last?”

Sulu raised an eyebrow at you. “I’m not sure, Ensign.” He told you. 

You blushed and nodded, apologizing for bothering him and going back to your station. This was going to feel like it took ages for you. Every hour that passed you felt yourself growing more and more agitated. 

“Scotty to Ensign Y/N.” Your comm rang. 

Quickly, you picked it up. “This is Ensign Y/N.” You said calmly.

“Aye lass, can you do a translation for me?” He asked. “It’s prices.” 

You furrowed your brow before answering. “Of course.” Why were you being asked when Uhura was there? She was above you!

He named out different numbers, ready to write down the translations. When he said the last one, you sighed. “Something wrong, lass?” He asked. 

“No, nothing.” You answered him. “Was there anything else I could translate for you, Mr. Scott?” 

“No, lass, that would be it. Thank ya!” He replied quickly.

“Of course.” You replied before setting it aside. Did this mean they were separated from Scotty? Were Uhura and Kirk off to themselves? You felt sick again but managed to swallow it down in an effort to stay at your station. You did your best to recapture what you’d felt that morning - hope, love, and safety.

It took a couple of hours to hear that they were being transported back and you couldn’t be more relieved. You hated feeling insecure and paranoid, and knew that you’d have to deal with it somehow.

Once they got back, it bothered you each minute that passed that they hadn’t returned to the Bridge. Although it was nearing dinner time, you doubted that Kirk would simply go without you. Or, had he gone there with Uhura? You had been told to stay at your station until Kirk would relieve you and the crew. 

Your legs were crossed, and you began shaking your foot slightly. You willed yourself not to get anxious, but you were. You opened a message bubble on your PADD and decided to message your brother. 

_ Leonard? Can we talk?  _

Sending it off, you took a deep breath.

He immediately replied  _ Want me to call you down to MedBay? _

Licking your lips, you barely finished reading before answering. 

_ Please. _

Instantly your comm went off, a random nurse at the other end. “Miss Y/N McCoy, you are late for your appointment. I have sent the Captain a form that says you’re required for this.” 

“I’ll be right there.” You answered before excusing yourself from the bridge. Could you develop anxiety during pregnancy? You would have to ask him. 

Leonard was waiting in a random room and stood up straight when you walked in. “What’s wrong?” 

You groaned and sat on the bed. “Things were fine, and then he says it’s him, Scotty, and Uhura going down. Fine. And then Scotty calls ME for translations. Why call me when Uhura was on the planet?!”

Leonard knew exactly why, but he bit his lip instead. “I think you may be overthinking everything.” 

“I know! Which makes it worse.” You told him, flopping back. “I feel like I’m going completely insane. 

“What is your biggest concern?” He asked, sitting down and knowing that he had to stall you for at least another hour while Jim got things ready. 

Your mind ran over everything. “That me getting pregnant scared him, and he just doesn't know how to tell me. That he wanted this, and now he doesn't. Doesn't want either of us.” You felt horrible saying it.


End file.
